Situational loneliness and its prevalence in work environments

Situational loneliness and its prevalence in work environments

now most of us derive a lot of social interaction from our jobs it's where we spend the majority of our time and we make a lot of friendships but imagine if you no longer had that environment to go to and you had to make an effort every day to find meaningful connections I was used to walking into an office and being able to say hello to this person or hello to that person or to collaborate with the person next to me and then when it closed it wasn't it wasn't the change of work that was problematic because I continue to do the same thing that I was doing except that it was in a different environment I started working from home sometimes quiet is lovely sometimes quiet is really peaceful and I love that but sometimes quiet is I can't say this is frustrating to anyone when I want to speak with someone when I want to share something with someone when I want to be involved in an experience with someone which makes those experiences richer and there isn't anyone to do that with or share that with in whatever form that feels very lonely there is a ravine near my home and I go for walks a lot partly to get out but partly just to say hello to people as they're walking their dogs there's something that changes in you when you actually interact with people I don't have hi how are you conversations so when those deeper conversations are missing there's a huge gap in my life so when my company closed it was not as I said work continued my client continued but those people who hadn't known me for 25 years who had seen me five days a week for 25 years we're not there anymore every day you're taking away more than someone you work with you're taking away someone who is my friend you're taking away someone who knows about my family you're taking away someone who knows my life we get it and so so well said if you're just joining us now we are doing a City Line reel today the whole hour dedicated to loneliness something that is prevalent right now so we've got dr. Karen Gordon our relationship expert with us we have dr. and the rokosz author of loneliness love and all that's between talking about this issue and you've spent a lot of time studying this so I want to talk I want to start by talking about the different kinds of loneliness that could exist all right I don't know if we can talk about different kinds as loneliness is very subjective experience always incredibly painful there are three situations that can exemplify how loneliness is experienced and by the way I don't refer to it as a feeling it's an experience one is when we're alone geographically isolated and that's what most people think about when they think about loneliness the second is when we are amongst many people like in on the subway we can even touch them and we feel so disconnected some people have a loving family and they don't feel that they connect with them but the worst most painful loneliness is loneliness in a in an intimate relationship where he was supposed to be close that's your best friend and you feel very disconnected and it has all kinds of effects that we may or may not talk about later on okay so Karen you've also looked at the different sort of situational loneliness experiences you can have what have you met with so for those of us who kind of were said 77% of us said we have experienced some kind of loneliness as IELTS I just kind of go through some of these scenarios different this is all from psychology today new situation loneliness where we kind of go to a new city a new job and can we what kind of feel lonely I'm different loneliness where you're kind of like you just realized you kind of don't connect with the people that you're actually around no time for me loneliness where this one is interesting where you're also you have friends and often they maybe have a baby or they they get a new job and often they have no more time for you it's not interesting in terms of like the situation I'm trustworthy friends loneliness where you have friends II don't really think you can trust and I actually added entrepreneur alone entrepreneur loneliness because when I started my business in my 20s that's when I really experienced loneliness for the first time so and I was like why what's wrong with me and I was like and it's because I was so dedicated in my business but as an entrepreneur and this is a huge thing for a lot of entrepreneurs if you don't have networks you have to be intentional and so once I kind of figure that out it was it was better but that's a really big one so was interesting with the tape you know people that are working remotely that it can be a big thing like they there's a positive thing of working remotely but that is a big thing in terms of ulsan you don't have that kind of connection and then if you think it's happening more and more society that people are working from home right now there are a lot of people watching the show I wrote about the DeLoreans of the psychologist I'm a clinical psychologist I've seen many people and sometimes there are people that I would love to befriend and I can I'm not allowed I have to stay a little bit removed from them oh you mean people that can connect I have like the most amazing clients oh well mine are honestly I have them as amazing times but I am not as we are not allowed to be friends with them you're never allowed to be or not they're not they're a current client no current but not later so that is I told no Webster yeah ever thought about that and that really is unfortunate because I have because you love lions yes it climbs I really kind of connect with but you're not alike so that's a little different like if you know those are my counseling clients my business clients totally different because I'm not a therapist I'm right so it's a very different that's actually one of the reasons why I started going more into the business side because I found the counseling side it can be a little bit lonely lonely it can be lonely for you're talking right now and thinking okay I live alone does that mean I'm lonely yes let's make the distinction right now there is a distinction between loneliness and solitude am i right absolutely yes loneliness is painful and usually it happens when I don't want it solitude is when I take time alone I want to be alone to do things that they can do only alone to create to write to think plan to walk in the woods and just to refresh it's a very refreshing experience but not when I talk about loneliness and I said that it actually causes physical illness I do want to sort of think about where in the body loneliness is actually affecting us because I did not understand that until I read the research how can being lonely be like smoking more than 15 cigarettes what's it doing to my body xiexie there's all kinds of things okay research suggests that it affects the cardiovascular health it depresses the efficiency of the natural killer cells which affects our immune system cortisol is exerted in higher amounts which may cause obesity it contributes to depression it contributes to even dementia in old people and and something I found in the literature which is amazing is that young people when they get a flu shot if they are lonely the effects of the flu shot is is lowered than if they weren't oh my goodness so something's happening physiologically panic or stress and therefore things are happening from a physical perspective thank you for the information I know we're just skimming the surface

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8 thoughts on “Situational loneliness and its prevalence in work environments

  1. That’s what I love about working at home, nobody I dislike is around. No bullies, no bullshitters, no blabbermouths just peace and quiet and my awesome friends outside of work.

  2. This is so important. In Texas we learned that little Maleah Davis had several investigations through the DFCS but no removal. I wonder if the LACK of situational loneliness in that environment contributed to how her cases were neglected or mishandled. I am so empathetic to this lady. She might have been a better case manager for Maleah Davis.

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